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announcers, football, gruden, jon gruden, mnf, monday night football, nfl, phil simms, quotes, simms, spider 2 y banana, week 13
The Jon Gruden Quote of the Week: “If you don’t like Joe Philbin, you don’t like people.”
I can’t believe the Jets got a MNF game in Week 13. What the hell? Aren’t we in flex time yet? Anyway, enjoy this week’s Gruden quotes although you could tell he was a little bored.
1. Gruden: “Pretty obvious call against the Jets there Mike.”
Tirico: “Why? Because I saw it right away?”
Gruden: “……Yes.”
2. “Rex Ryan still has bullets in his holster.”
3. “If you’re Brent Grimes, you don’t want to see this train coming down your neighborhood.”
4. “For the life of me, I don’t know how that’s not running into the kicker. Grimes ran right into the kicker.”
5. “Decker probably thinks he is playing with Tim Tebow again.”
6. “That is something they have not done, recently, in a long time.”
7. “No one in the State of Florida expected the Jets to run a reverse with Greg Salas.”
8. “John Connor. In. The. Hole. You wanna be a fullback, you gotta make these kind of BLOCKS.”
9. “If you’re a cornerback like Brent Grimes, you don’t want to see this TRAIN (Chris Ivory) coming down your neighborhood. He can run over you, he can jump over you, he can do it all.”
10. “These Jets have dropped more interceptions than any team I’ve ever seen.”
11. “If you don’t like Joe Philbin, you don’t like people.” (Week 13 Quote of the Week!)
Weekly Dose of Phil Simms – Bears @ Lions & Patriots @ Packers:
Two games with this moron this week. For fuck’s sake.
1. “I’d go ahead and kick a field goal because you aren’t a good run team.”
(Next play is a running TD)
“Great play call by Caldwell.”
2. “What does Detroit’s defense want to do? Whatever they want to do, they have to do it quick.”
3. “Running the ball is a waste of time.”
4. “It’s a game inside and what I mean by this is…here he come (sic) around the outside.”
5. “There is no cover job in football.”
6. “This years Turkey Bowl was our 19th and next year will be our 20th.”
7. “Well, they’re being balanced. Heh.”
8. “You can tell he was a shortstop, just the way he leans.”
9. “Why did he want the job with the Detroit Lions? Because they have a defensive line, a QB and WRs.”
10. “When they blitz, you get extra time to throw it.”
11. “You look at the crosser, he probably could have stuck it in there… Nope. That’s why he did this.”
12. “Watch the right guard pull around… you can hear it.”
13. “Everybody wants it small and soft so they can dig their fingers into it.” (I….I don’t know…)
14. “By putting Clay Matthews inside they’ve learned a lot which they already knew.”
15. “The last three home games, they’ve never punted in the first half.” (Currently 2:21 left in 3rd)
16. “Brandon LaFell: Big, tall receiver.” (He’s shorter than Tom Brady)
17. “You see Rodgers with his hands in his pockets. He likes to keep them warm.”
18. “That’s why I gave up a long time ago. Let’s just wait and see who wins.”
19. “Bill Belichick has taken a lot of big chances in his career. This is one of them.” (Week 13, 5:50 in 4th quarter)
20. “He makes the catch and it hits the ground. But did it ever come out?”
Just kill me.
Honoray Mentions from Other Announcers:
Michaels and Collinsworth actually seemed drunk on the thanksgiving game. So many basic factual errors during the game, plus they really seemed like they were free styling it at some points. Whatever happened it was hilarious.
1. “He thinks the job of the quarterback is to distribute the football.” -Cris Collinsworth (SEA vs. SF)
2. “Welcome to whereever we are right now. Some city an hour south of San Francisco.” -Cris Collinsworth (SEA vs. SF)
3. “Got some crazy women in Kansas City. And we’re gonna get us none.” -Al Michaels (KC vs. DEN)
4. “If you get that ball in your hands, that’s a touchdown.” -Donovan McNabb (NO vs. PIT)
5. “Why did the clock stop?” -Solomon Wilcots (after a failed 4th down conversion – clock stops on a possession change) (CIN vs. TB)
6. “Teddy Bridgewater might be a Bridge-ICE by the time this one is over!” -Chris Myers (CAR vs. MIN)
7. “Michael Vick almost got hurt on the sideline.” -Mike Tirico (MIA vs. NYJ)
Have a great week!